A while ago I was catching a bus home when it was forced to stop before the train crossing because a man had committed suicide by jumping in front of a passing train.

All day I have been thinking about how the train driver felt, how the passengers were affected, how his family dealt with the loss (if he had any)

why he did it

A suicide like that would have to be a split second decision, I think.
I mean, jumping in front of a fast moving train would be absolutely terrifying, and you’d be dragged along and mutilated and I can’t imagine it being instant because trains aren’t that fast. So unless you are truly wishing to punish yourself, why would you choose to drag your death out so painfully? He also would have to have been disassociated from his emotions to a certain degree because I think that most people would have thought of a cleaner, less public suicide in their preparation. So many people were involved. 

I just really wish I could know why he did it. It has been eating me up inside.